"I have hidden your words in my heart that I might not sin against you" Psl 119:11..

Friday, July 24, 2009

*.* Get started .... *.*

It's my first week of school. I thought I should be excited and having that kind of "looking foward" attitude towards going to school. But eventually, I felt rather tense up or I should say anxious about school that I don't seems to enjoy school as I have perceived (earlier on). I guess this is the first week of school which is also the "trial" week for me to have a taste of " work and study" lifestyle. It's a period where I need to adjust my life, my schedule, my emotion and thoughts even my eating habits. It wasn't easy for me this week having to rush from work to school, doing revision, research and reading after work so as to be prepare for the coming assignment which our lecture has "pre-m" us by uploading it in the blackboard even before start of school. I am rather surprise with their efficiency. (anyway, they do expect us to be efficient as well when we are given only 2 weeks to complete each assignment). It does affect my eating habit whereby dinner is equivalent to supper and lunch is inclusive of dinner. This also means sacrifice of event, outing and some of my sleep time. The sad thing is I need to drop some of my favourite activities soon. Initially, it was a struggle for me but God has been my strength to make me pull through these. (I can see the meaning behind my baptism name now..)

Anyway, this does not mean that studying suck but like I say it's a period of adjustment..Frankly, I do enjoy this week lecture class ..was interesting ...I was surprise to see students of different ages and background ..hmm as i observe my class I do wander am I the youngest in the class =] .. I know that it's just the beginning ...and yup God will continue to be my source of strength and comfort ...to let go of certain things in life ...

中場時間 ing

你只能給我的中場時間
卻不能拼湊成主場畫面
不貪圖那一天　幸福會上演
我要狠心一點　說不愛了

說好不見　開始對你想念
我的脆弱那麼明顯　自己都討厭
說好不愛了　就能回到原點
好像是惡作劇情節　對我的考驗

可是我刪不掉手機照片
那畫面兩人的臉笑得多甜
多留曖昧一點　難過就多一天
我不哭要眼淚爭氣點

你只能給我的中場時間
卻不能拼湊成主場畫面
不貪圖那一天　幸福會上演
我要狠心一點　說不愛了

你曾經給我的中場時間
我會一點一點累積畫面
傷口它會復原　把你留給昨天
我要自私一點　才會有快樂

I needed Jesus @ | 4:21 AM

Monday, July 20, 2009

*.* "it does not depend on man's desire or effort but God's mercy" Rom 9:16 *.*

The 40 days prayer book cites this statement, “Your destiny isn't much where you're going or what you're doing for God. Rather, it's what you are becoming along the way- in the Potter's hand. ”God is interested in the process of molding your character rather than the outcome or even the things you have done for Him...

In the past, I do have this perception that I need to do many good deeds in order to be a godly person. I thought by doing these, I will receive more of his love and blessing. Eventually, my significant in life was depended on the no of good deeds I have done to people. Have you ever measure your significant by these temporarily things - achievement, the no of friends/lover you have or even the amount of money in your bank account?

God is interested in you rather than the things you do. He is not someone who values you according to your achievement. However, we might tend to have wrong perception of what God want us to be. I recounted trying to do many so called “great things” which I thought will glorify Him. And when I can accomplish these things, I feel assure and proud of myself. Sooner or later, I began to rely on myself to do those things and totally forgotten his presence –how he had helped me. Since then, I began to rely on my own strength when doing those tasks. Tasks that can be relate d to school and at work, even in relationship; you thought you can make things happen with much effort.

Perhaps, like what pastor has said during this week sermon, "we are all proud people and we need God to humble us so that we can exalt in his glory and purpose." I always think that fear is one reason to lead me to doing things by my own ability. I don't think that I am someone who will boast. But sometime I can feel my conscious telling me that if I am not proud then why do I challenge God strength and power?

But what does it mean to trust in Him? Do we trust God only when good things happen? Today's daily devotion warns us “Be careful never to place your trust in God's blessings rather than in God. Enjoy the Blesser--the God who gives and guides you--rather than the blessing.” So what does it means when we say we trust in Him? Someone told me that trust is to surrender. Then what is surrender? How can we surrender?

This week I went for the altar call. One of the ladies from the ministry team prayed a prayer for me. She also shared with me how she defines "surrender". She elaborate that surrender is like a passenger taking a plane. She shared that as a passenger does not have control the plane. He/she has to trust the pilot who will drive them to their destination. Surrender is like being the passenger trusting God (pilot) for your destination. Surrender is not a once in a while practice but should be something that needs to be done daily (Just like prayer). Surrender does not mean defended, it does not mean you are coward. It's an act of trusting in Him. I am encouraged by the lady when she told me this," If God open this door for you, surely he will soar you through."

“Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?” Matthew 7:9-10.

I know it's time not to look back, run forward. I need to take each step at a time. It’s time to lead my life each day at a time. It’s time to claim and hold on to His promises…

Verse:
Beautiful Lord, Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure, all of my days are
held in your hands, crafted into your perfect plan
You gently call me into your presence
guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord to live all of my life through Your eyes
I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart, I know you're drawing me to yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Chorus:
Take me, Mould me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me, lead me, walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

I needed Jesus @ | 2:22 AM

Friday, July 17, 2009

*.* What's your choice then ?? *.*

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."

-we can't predict when we will face storms in life, we can't determine how long it will last..we are stop things from happening, we can't forsee what will happen next, but we can decide how we want to face it..what we are going to do about it and how we can react to it..it do make a difference like what Stephen Covey quoted

"10% of life is made up of what happens to you. …90% of life is decided by how you react… "

-sometimes we might just underestimate the impact we make when we response or react to things. Stephen Covey hightlights one good example of how our reaction can make a difference to the outcome. He illustrates his point with a simple scenario and 2 different responds that resulted in 2 entirely different outcome.

Picture with me this scenario where a father was having breakfast with his daughter. Unconsciously, his daughter actually spilled a cup of coffee onto his business shirt. With that, he got mad and scolded her badly. He then criticized his wife for placing the cup to the edge of the table and angrily, he went to change his shirt. Now the daughter being too upset with her father took even longer time to finish her breakfast. Because of that, the daughter miss her school bus and the father has to rush to send her to school and ended up being late for work and a series of mishap happens that make you feel that today is just not your day.

But was it true ? Consider this: the same scenario but this time rather than reprimanding the daughter and lecturing his wife, the father comforted the daughter telling her it's not her fault then when up to change. The daughter smiled apologetically and quickly finished her breakfast. She was on time to catch her bus and the father was able to report to work on time.

Same scenario...difference outcome..what makes the difference ?? Perhaps in our daily lives we do face such experience too...lift breakdown when we so tired after a long day at work...new phone went missing in just a day..boyfriend come to your house to initiate a breakup..wanting a warm bath after a 3 day 2 night camp and you realise the tap is not functioning...I personally encounter many "suay" things in life..After reading the above story from Stephen, I began to have a new perspective of things...and life...

"If you can have the choice to decide how you react to things ...why not taking it in a more positive perspect ? "

Sometimes we really need some " jin ri liang yan" from people to be awake.....

"I know my joy is not decided by my circumstance...but in Him...."

I needed Jesus @ | 3:04 AM

Monday, July 13, 2009

*.* Have you trust Him enough ?? *.*

This week, we heard pastor’s sermon on drawing line – how we can stand tall in Turbulent Times. As we read Daniel 3, we see how Daniel’s three friends, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego being able to draw a line, to take their stand in such an ungodly circumstance. Like the bible quoted, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Roman 12:2. In the book of Daniel 3, Pastor explores three ways how they are able to do so with the three Ks:

1) Knowing of whom you are pleasing–God or Men?
2) Knowing God – Knowledge of his goodness and greatness
3) Knowing the price – Paying the price of obedience

How truly can we seek and know God? We claim we love Him and we want to please him, we want to put him first above all things. We believe we can trust in Him at all time. We sing “how great is our God “, “We love you Jesus” on Sunday but the next day can we guarantee that we can still love him when we receive bad news that we can get retrenched anytime? When we got scolded by our boss or being accused by our colleagues or friends? Will we start to doubt and ask: Where is God?

Does God only appear on Sunday during service? Or have we not trust Him enough in earthly things? Have fear overtake the trust we have in Him? Is our faith determined by circumstance? What is faith?

Perhaps there are too many fears and concerns in life - Fear of losing job, not enough money; of failure, of not being accepted by people, of how we look...how we dress... Eventually, we get trapped with these worldly issues and slowly we began to worship these things…we acknowledge it’s a sin but we are caught in the middle… And soon we become half hearted Christian / Sunday Christian / “a Christian only when in need “. I strongly agree with what pastor had said yesterday, “it’s tough to be half hearted Christian than being either a totally committed Christian or a backslider. “ Your conscience tells you which type of Christian you are…

Perhaps we have not love God enough to seek him.” If we do love him, we will seek him eagerly.” And if we do seek him, we will know him and even trust him. Since we do not know him well enough, we are not able to know his greatness and goodness. With that, we began to trust in what is visible in our eyes. We are occupied with other belief and fallen in desire that meet our needs. God is a jealous God and he won’t allow this, like the Chinese saying “yi xing bu nen er yong”. Eventually, we need to empty these things so to be filled and refresh by Him again”. It’s hard when one claim they want to surrender and go back to God but deep inside they are holding on to it.

I always think that being emotional over certain things (relationship etc) is quite a girly thing that I will ban myself for being like that... Until I release I am also trapped in that “emo” circumstance just because of certain events and things which, after all was just creative thoughts from a creative me. And it’s really time to say good bye to these thoughts and to empty them just like how I clear my recycle bin on my desktop. (Ctrl +D). I do ask myself, “easy say…but can you really do so?”… I guess with school and work I should be busyness enough to keep my mind occupy… But this is not a good way afterall …

Like what my leader said, when you hold too tightly over certain things, you might end up losing it.” Is it really because “ yong you de shao, suo yi ge zhen xi, ge hai pa shi qu” ? I am also unsure of that. Rather than asking God why, I should reflect what is the lesson learnt? Today’s daily devotion also talks about Q&A and there are certain parts of the devotion that caught my attention:” cited from today’s daily devotion - 'As Christians, we do not live on explanations; we live on promises. Suppose God started to answer these questions. Will the Lord cast off forever? No. Will He be favorable no more? Of course, He's going to be favorable. Is His mercy completely gone forever? No. If God answered all of these questions, would it make any difference? It might ease your mind a little bit, but it wouldn't really change your situation. Live by faith, not by sight. Trust the promises of the Lord. He will not change.'

It’s time to move on...it's time to let go.. giving it all to God..my worries ..concern..fear ...all to Him..cos he is willing to help me..and he is my only source of hope after all...And I know God will regain my strength again…He will restore my soul and never will I be stumble again… never will I tear because of these....

I needed Jesus @ | 4:59 AM

Monday, July 6, 2009

'When Christ is the center of your focus, all else will come into proper perspective.'

I needed Jesus @ | 3:39 AM